THE STRANGERS

  Ah our time seeing the world has come to an end.
So winds down this chapter of  performing amazing
shows, exploring the earth’s greatest wonders, and
avoiding curry buffets. Already a sadness begins as
such decisions as, “Do I go sit and eat snails on a
south beach in France, or shall I take the train and attempt to lose my week’s wages in
an Adam’s Family slot machine in Monte Carlo” become a thing of the
past. I think more than the wonderful sights, the leisurely days on the pool deck, the
freedom to be creative, the one thing I’ll miss more than anything else; are The
Strangers.
 
 In life on a cruise ship, the parameters of reality become completely absurd. On our
ship, the crew numbers one thousand and passengers number two thousand.
Passengers come on a cruise ship for two weeks and then leave. We are not allowed
to have relations with them other than plt>revolves around the Strangers. The purpose of every Normal in this world is to
appease the Strangers, even though we know know no matter how happy we make
them, they will just wind up leaving us anyway. Some Normals’ role in life is to rub the
Strangers’ backs, others is to clean the Strangers’ hands. (This is another absurdity in
this world. In cruise ships crew members are stationed all over the ship and sanitize
passengers hands to keep disease from spreading in our three hundred foot long
floating petri dish. So basically while the Strangers are treated like royalties of sorts,
even the Normals don’t trust where the Strangers’ hands have been.) My purpose in
this life is to stand in front of the Strangers and try to make them laugh. The Strangers
appreciate this and I soon become a celebrity of sorts in this land of a three thousand
people. Everyone in this world knows me. While indifferent to my existence one day
prior, Strangers whisper to each other as I walk by and are eager to learn more details
of my being. They congratulate me on my ability to make them laugh, inquire about the
‘hot spots’ in approaching ports, and ask me how to open doors. While Strangers will
quiz me about everything from life on a ship to what I can do about the loud music in
the lounge, ninety percent of the Strangers’ curiosity is made up of three questions.
Imagine if every day, multiple times a day, strangers come up to you and ask you these
same three questions:

How long have you been here?
How much longer will you be here?
Where do you sleep?

Phase 3: The Strangers now stride through the ship’s innards with complete
confidence. Their faces are now lobster red and beginning to blister. They are able to
open doors and find food without the aid of any of the Normals. And just when they’ve
finally figured out how everything works, all the Strangers disappear, and are replaced
with a new set of confused Strangers. The Strangers completely forget who I am, and I
lose all celebrity that I have built up over the past two weeks. I can once again live a
normal life. That is for about a day or so before the bermuda short clad paparazzi once
again ask me to take a break from my shuffleboard to stand next to a lady (who will
later be explained to who I am) as my likeness is forever embedded into a german man’
s camera phone. He will say something to me in a german accent so thick, I will find it
best just to smile then to attempt any futile translating. While I don’t know exactly what
it is that he’s saying, I feel it’s a pretty safe bet to reply:

I’ve been here for three months
I’ll be on for one more month
In a bed

So goodbye Strangers, and your absurd existence. There were many Strangers that
were some of the sweetest, most fun, interesting people I’ve ever met. I got to know
them for two weeks before they left this Narnia, this Never Land, this.. this...oh what’s
another analogy is of a fantastical place where you can escape the reality of life for a
short time, like that book in the Never Ending Story, or the beginning part of a
relationship before you realize that the other person has flaws. Maybe someday I will
return to that world as a Stranger myself. Although if the boat has taught me anything,
that day won’t come until Im old, or I forget english